


You Dummy

by nielmato



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, One Shot, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 00:44:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12853062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nielmato/pseuds/nielmato
Summary: In a sea of black, Ong Seongwoo was the only one dressed in another colour. A short one-shot loosely inspired by Huh Gak’s song Only You (or in Korean ‘Babo Ya’), with Ong as the lead actor in the MV.





	You Dummy

I sat in the back of the small room in silence, the sound of my breathing overlapped by ticking sounds of the huge wall clock right above my head.

The walls in the room were covered with nothing but white curtains, yet every single one of the 12 living souls in here was covered in black. Not me though, since I never got the memo about today’s outfit. I was wearing a bright orange sweater paired with ripped denim jeans, which was definitely way too eye-catching in this sea of black. As much as I love to be the center of attention, wearing the wrong outfit was not the way to do it. I hope my mom is not going to scold me for this though-- since she always prides on being able to dress perfectly for any occasion.

“Seongwoo-ya! What on earth are those clothes?!” I remembered her high-pitched voice piercing my ears in the break of dawn, as I was getting ready to move to Seoul after an entertainment agency had recruited me as an idol trainee about 3 years ago. The 18 years old me was elated to finally be able to inch at least one step closer in realizing my dream as a singer, to the point that I spent the entire night rummaging my belongings in a huge suitcase and fantasizing what was life like in the capital city.

“Aish mom, these are my best t-shirt and jeans! What’s wrong with them?! Besides, I already packed the rest of my clothes. It’s a hassle to take everything out!!” I snapped at her, believing that I was the one with superior fashion sense in the family back then.

“Goodness me, those look really hideous!” She immediately scoffed without hesitation. “Seongwoo, it’s your first day in Seoul! You should dress to impress!”

“But mom, I don’t have any money to buy new clothes… Plus, I don’t want to ask you for money either because I know you and dad are saving up for noona’s university fees and my training fees…”

Surprisingly, mom let out a small chuckle before replying, “Geez, only now you suddenly start to worry about money? I thought my son only cares about playing around with his friends and singing as loud as possible in karaoke!”

“Well, I’m also starting to grow up, you know… I need to start thinking about other things...” I answered hesitantly.

“Pfft, don’t give me that nonsense. Only acting like an adult when it’s convenient. Stop worrying about things that aren't necessary, Seongwoo-ya! That’s not your part.”

“But…”

“No buts, my son. Now your part is to make sure you’ll work hard for your dreams in the future. And for that, mom has something just right for you today. Behold!”

“Wha--”

I was taken aback as my mom presented a plastic bag filled with brand new outfits right in front of my eyes. In a glance, I could see an expensive-looking black leather jacket and a brand new pair of dark denim jeans in there, in which I probably couldn’t have bought from the money I earned working part-time in a nearby convenience store.

“Look, I bought you a new jacket and a pair of nice skinny jeans! I think they’ll look good with a white shirt and the boots your sister got for your birthday this year. It’s the perfect outfit for this chilly fall weather. Don’t you think so, Seongwoo?” My mom’s smile beamed brighter than the sun that just rose a couple of minutes ago, and made me wear this new outfit in an instant. Although I felt bad that she particularly used her own savings for this, I remembered back then admitting that new jacket and the pair of jeans really did look good on me, which acted as a wonderful personal confidence booster later on that day.

Even if the new outfit seemed like it should be the highlight of that day, it actually wasn’t. What I recalled vividly was what happened after that, when I was struggling to figure out the shoelaces for the black leather boots that I’ve never worn at all. They were too luxurious for me, so I was afraid I would damage them if I used them too much.

“Haish, how do I put in the shoelaces… These are so difficult!” I grumbled to myself as I sat down on against the front door, fingers busy fumbling with laces here and there. Feeling frustrated, my mom immediately stopped washing the dishes and came over to give me a hand.

“Goodness me, I thought you’re already a grown up? Grown-ups are supposed to know how to tie their shoelaces!” She groaned, but fingers moving swiftly in putting the laces in their designated holes. It was fascinating just to see her able to execute something seemingly so complicated with such ease, and sure enough, my boots were ready to wear in a matter of a few seconds.

“S-sorry about that mom… But thanks a bunch.” I thanked her, before quickly putting on that nice pair of boots and got up from the floor. As I grabbed my suitcase tightly and opened the front door, I turned back to my mom again to bid her farewell as most of my family members weren’t home that morning,

“Alright then... Mom, your son is going to go first. I’ll give you a call when I get to my dorms. Thanks for everything so far, you’re the best!”

She then smiled and silently looked up at me, her gaze quiet, but worth more than a thousand words. Her chestnut eyes glistened, countless emotions reflected on its surface. There was the joy of being able to allow her son to fulfill his dreams, but on the other side, there’s also sorrow of letting him go on his own at such a young age. Seeing her like that made my heart sink, but I knew I had to step out of that door nevertheless. I had to move on, not as the son of the Ong family, but as a living individual named Ong Seongwoo.

Not wanting to part on an awkward note, I attempted to break the atmosphere with a laughter and said, “Mom, don’t look so sad! I’ll still visit you during holidays, I promise!”

“Aish, who said I was sad?” She let out an awkward chuckle, and continued, “I’m just appreciating your visuals, you know? Woohoo, look at this dashing young man that I gave birth to!”

“Mom, stop it! It’s weird hearing that from you!”

“Eii, I’m sure you have heard that a lot of the girls and aunties around you. But you’ll hear that more often when you become a superstar. So you better get used to it, my son!”

I laughed out loud before replying, “The heck?! That’s not true at all, stop saying nonsense! But anyways, I need to go now before I miss my bus to Seoul. Thanks again for buying this new outfit and helping me with these boots. I would be such a mess without you, Madam Ong! Hehehe.”

“Haish, seriously. You dummy!”

Those were the very last words she had said to me before leaving home for the first time, and also it was the first time I’ve ever seen tears slid down her cheeks. I’ve always known her as a strong lady, and I recalled being so shocked to the point I just ran out of the house. I couldn’t handle it anymore, and I’m afraid I seriously won’t leave the house that day if I had to see my mother’s tears more than that.

Since that day, I’d never thought I’ll see my mother cry again, as I’ve promised to myself and to her that I would be a successful singer that’ll make our family proud. I wanted to be the first celebrity with the surname ‘Ong’, no matter how long it’ll take. I was ready to train as hard as I could, especially for the sake of my mother who had sacrificed so much for me.

Even when times were hard, when a chance to debut was nowhere in sight, I never gave up. So did my mom. Every time I had the chance to come back home, she was always standing at the front door, with her back straight and a smile on her face. Sometimes I would get scolded straight away for not dressing well or gaining weight but that was it, really. Not a single complaint of fatigue, or watery eyes out of despair despite the tight financial situation we were in back then.

However, today was different. As I slowly walked across the room and stopped right in front of her seat, it became the second time I had to see tears roll down from her soft, yet wrinkly cheeks. Her gaze was still quiet, but worth more than a thousand words. Her chestnut eyes glistened, countless emotions reflected on its surface.

Everything seemed the same as the first time I saw this powerful woman cry, but two things were different this time around.

First, my mother wasn’t smiling. Not even the corners of her lips curved upwards.

Lastly, even if she was still silent, she wasn’t looking up at me. Even with this obnoxious orange sweater, she didn’t have her eyes on me. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t.

She could only look up at the last thing that reminded her that I was once the son she gave birth to-- my lifeless body, soon to be locked up inside a fancy white casket that my family couldn’t possibly afford. Even if my body was dressed in the best-looking tuxedo I have ever seen, I guess there’s no difference if the person wearing it is no longer there.

After a while, my mother’s tears stopped trickling down. She then stood up and walked slowly to the casket, and as she glanced over at my body, she let out a long sigh with drooped shoulders. I was expecting more tears to roll down her cheeks, but surprisingly, I heard words whispered from her instead.

“Seongwoo-ya, if only you were still here. Look at you now, you look dashing in that suit. You look like a proper idol ready to win awards, even!”

“Mom… I’m sorry…” I muttered although I knew she wouldn’t be able to hear me anyway.

“You see…” She continued while stroking my arms softly. “I know you’re gone because you were protecting your friends from that drunk driver, and I’m sure God will accept good-hearted boy like you by His side, but… but…”

It first started with a drop on the cuffs of the suit, but I could see it drenched just a few seconds later. She had her small back against me and others in the room, yet I could see that it was trembling. In order to hold herself in, she grasped the rim of the casket tightly, to the point that her fingers became red. With the last of her weak voice, she then muttered something over and over again; the last words I’ve heard before I left her side 3 years ago:

“Seongwoo-ya, why did you have to leave… Seriously… You dummy. You dummy… You dummy...”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it’s been a while since I’ve published anything and that’s mainly because I’ve been busy with uni and also sorta dealing with my fear of writing that has actually been around for the last couple of months or so.
> 
> I’m trying to combat it by trying my best to write a couple of hundred of words every day, and this time around I was inspired by Ong’s emotional acting in the MV for Huh Gak’s song...but only did I know this song was actually about a break-up after reading the subs =w=“ Oh well, I guess I was just inspired on a whim yesterday as I was somewhat reminded by the first time I left for uni when I heard this song. 
> 
> I will post more one-shots from today on in order to overcome my fear, so please look forward to them! Will probs mostly Wanna One, BAP and BTS stuff I guess...
> 
> Till next time, adieu~


End file.
